


acceptance

by Drakkonis



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26699500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drakkonis/pseuds/Drakkonis
Summary: Everybody has a time, and Andy's has been coming for centuries - but it was never supposed to be like this.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> hey! so this is my first tog fic and while most of the stuff on here is skulduggery pleasant, if you're interested in more tog stuff please let me know 🥺 i admit that i'm rusty but also i got sixteen notes on tumblr so evidently this is a literary masterpiece /s

“Do you ever wonder what you’d look like if you aged?”

The question hung in the air for an excruciatingly long moment, but it was Nicky that turned to answer Nile’s question.

“No.”

Maybe his answer wouldn’t have been so short had the question not come at such an inconvenient time — Andy had laughed at the beginnings of gray hair only this morning, but the rest of the team hadn’t seen her since then.

Maybe it was for the best, that she could laugh at it. Maybe it wasn’t so funny, the idea of a death after so many millennia — but it was a death that was far past due. Maybe it just wasn’t funny at all, and the wrenching feeling in Nile’s chest that hadn’t gone away since she’d seen Andy nearly die for good wasn't so out-of-place.

“I might go check on her,” Nile said, even if it was just to fill in th awkward pause that followed, but Joe looked over. Shook his head.

“No. Sit.”

An eyebrow arched, but Joe only gave a brittle smile. “If andy wanted to be here with us, she would be. Sit.”

“I’m just—”

“Worried. We know.” he cut in, resting his head against his love’s shoulder. “You can’t blame yourself for this, Nile.”

“Who said I was blaming myself?” The question came out defensive, more so than she’d originally intended, but there wasn’t even a twitch in Joe’s exhausted expression.

“You. You may not realise it, but you are. Your mind knows this is not your fault, because it is anything but — it is your heart that you need to convince.”

“And what does that mean?” She looked away and shook her head, standing despite being told not to. “I know it’s not my fault.”

“The stop blaming yourself for it, Nile.” Nicky stood and walked over to her, taking her hands — even the gentle grip of them made Nile want to ug away.

“I just  _ said _ , I’m not—”

“Then stop acting like you are.” Joe and Nicky spoke in unison, but only the latter continued.

“You aren’t alone here, Nile. We’re here if you need to speak to us.”

It was the gentle squeeze of his hands that made Nike break, made her look away. “It seems too coincidental that the second I come along …”

“That isn't how it works. Nobody died when Booker came along. Nobody lost their immortality.”

“Booker wasn't too early.”

“And neither were you. There is no timing, Nile, there is no sense to any of it. We have to keep battling through. Joe and I came at the same time, thousands of years after Quynh, Andy, Lykon. Booker centuries after us. Fate does not have a timer, Nile.”

“There are some guilts that we must live with forever,” Joe offered, “regardless of whether or not they are ours to bear. Think of Quynh — Andy blames herself to this day.”

“You will live with some things forever if you let them fester within you, Nile. Do not let this be one of them, not when it is not yours to carry. Do not let Andy's death be a part of what you are, not when she has waited millennia for this.” A final squeeze of her hand, and Nicky sat back down, laying his feet over Joe's lap. Both pairs of their eyes on her were too much — she turned away.

“Do you think she wants this? Really?” 

“That does not matter. Not now. It is not for us to save her — not like that. Let her live her days in peace, Nile, and do not try to rewrite destiny for the sake of a woman who has defied it on her own for her entire life. That is not for you to do.”

“Then what is?” she asked, but Joe only smiled.

“Accept it, and live for her.”

By the time Andy's footsteps signalled her return, the conversation had long since faded into nothing, the only sound that of Nicky's faint snores against Joe's neck.

Nile couldn't even offer her a smile.

xix

“If you let me die in one of these gods-forsaken places, I will come back and kill you out of spite,” announces Andy from the hospital bed. 

Nicky tries to laugh, but the reminder that it's happening, it's happening, she's going to die keeps the sound choked and short. “We will do our best to not let that happen,” he assures her, and Andy seems satisfied — or would, if he didn't already know her so well. 

The grey in her hair had spread over the last couple of decades, and the lines on her face had deepened. On its own, maybe he could ignore it, but the chest pains, the horrendous coughing fit that had brought blood to Andy's lips had forced them to take her to the hospital, forced them to face the reality. 

She deserved better than this.

“Hey.” He must have been making a face, because Andy reached out, squeezed his hand. “Stop that.”

Nicky arched an eyebrow, but centuries of knowing a person meant they were difficult to fool, and Andy was impossible to lie to. 

“Stop grieving for me before I'm already dead.”

xix

“Get up!”

Nile's voice sounded raw, and the sheer panic in it had Andy pushing herself to her feet, despite the ache that resonated within every part of her. 

“Andy! Come on!”

Joe, now shouting, pulling her down as there was another explosion, covering her back. Dammit, dammit,  _ dammit —  _ whether or not she survived this was going to rely on her own reflexes, shitty and slow with all the injuries she'd sustained that wouldn't heal.

“Joe, let me go.” Even to her, the words sounded weak, but she kicked her way or if his arms when he tried to lift her. “Leave me, dammit.”

“For fuck's  _ sake _ , boss, you can't keep doing this. Come on!”

“I'm going to die,” Andy said, and the words felt truer than ever before, even as she stumbled at the force of another explosion. “You can't change that.”

“Not like this!”

“How did you expect it to be? Peaceful, quiet? We'll never get that, Joe.  _ I'll _ never get that.” In a moment of pure desperation, she grabbed his face, held it tightly between her hands. “Get Nicky and Nile. Get out of here.”

“Andy—” he protested, and she could see the tears in his eyes, even as she pulled away, took a shaky step back. 

“Go,” she said, one last time, and a final deafening boom took everything from her, other than the faint sense that she was flying. 

The world faded, as it had so many times before.

Didn't come back.

xix

Three days.

Three day, it took, to find Andy's body, to hope and pray and beg whatever gods, whoever's they were, that she'd come back.

Three days until they gave up, took her out into the woods.

Joe was fairly sure that between the three of them, maybe a dozen words had been spoken since the safehouse was destroyed. It wasn't right without Andy's dry comments and humour, as weak as that had been in her final days.

But she was gone, finally gone, and she wasn't coming back. 

“Here looks nice.” How Joe willed the words out without his voice cracking, he'd wonder for centuries, but the other two immortals stopped. 

Nicky lowered the cloth-wrapped body to the ground, and took his lover's hand. The warmth of his grip gave Joe the strength to clear his throat, ask the air, “Burn or bury?”

“Burn,” said Nile, at the same time as Nicky said, “Bury.”

Both paused, looked at Joe, and he swallowed down the lump in his throat as he considered. “We burn it, and we may well take a good chunk of the woods with us.”

“Burning it is,” said Nicky, his smile tight and sad and not meeting his eyes. 

Any other situation and he would have had words, had poetry on the tip of his tongue and would have tried to comfort his family — but right now there were only the tears spilling over as flames crackled, as Andy's body burnt and sparked.

Nicky, stood so still beside him, let out a quiet choking noise — Joe pulled him close, fingers digging in. 

Millennia, the woman that lay before them, had walked this earth for, seen the rise and fall of civilisations. And as much as he was desperate to say something, as much as he needed to give Andromache the Scythian a final goodbye, all he could do was cry, clinging onto Nicky and moving back as the fire spread.

Something in him made him look up, meet Nile's similarly watery eyes. 

“Accept it,” she told him as she moved to join the hug, tears spilling. “Live for her.”


End file.
